This is deadly serious:Imagine, if you will, a person arriving in a town on an empty train, at the empty station, for the meagre, distanced and strictly limited funeral of an old friend.
He asks his way to the crematorium. The only available stranger replies: ‘Take the right fork at the dead cafe. Go past ten dead restaurants, three dead pubs, a dead shopping mall, a dead bookshop, two dead cinemas and a dead theatre.
Turn right at the dead museum, and right again at the dead gym. Cross the road when you get to the dead swimming pool. Walk through the first dead university. At the dead covered market, turn right until you reach the dead library.
Then take the empty bus up through the other dead university, through the dead suburb and past the dead school. Watch out for the dead surgery. At the roundabout, turn down the hill by the dead church and keep going for half a mile.
You can’t miss the crematorium, as it is one of the few places where there are any signs of life.’