Hi everyone, I'm new here.
I joined because I'm terrified about the way things are going. I have a mental health condition which makes wearing any face covering for any longer than a few moments very traumatic. I can cope at work, as they're very reasonable and I pretty much only wear it when I'm stood right next to someone and then take it straight back off. I can tolerate it for a short time but it needs to be in my own control if that makes sense? I need to know that if I start to feel panicky and short of breath I can remove it without facing harassment and abuse. While my colleagues are understanding I really doubt the public will be and I've already heard some awful stories about people with things like asthma being abused in public for not wearing a covering on transport and even of them being filmed and made an example of.
I'm now terrified to go to the shops and law hasn't even come in yet. Luckily I can avoid public transport entirely but I do need to buy food and all the online order slots seem to be booked for weeks (unsurprising really). I also need to be able to collect my prescriptions and my pharmacy is inside Tescos.
I've spent all week worrying about this. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't think straight, went home sick from work and am now on restricted duties.
My absolute biggest fear which is consuming everything right now is of this being extended further and I will end up a prisoner in my own home.
I know there's hidden disability lanyards you can get and I have a visor as a back-up but I'm worried not even that will be enough to keep the hysterical, interfering idiots away from me. I don't want to have a fight every time I need to buy food, loo roll or medicine.
I might be overthinking it but I just wondered if anyone else was feeling the same and what they have found helpful?
This may not be the right place but I've already tried mental health forums and even there people don't seem to understand (some do but there's still some who believe in the hysteria too).
Thanks either way and all the best with the protests, I wish I was brave enough to join one! :)
I suffer from anxiety issues (made much more severe by the lockdown) and have been similarly dreading the introduction of masks in shops. However I've been travelling maskless on the Tube for several weeks now, and I must say I've yet to encounter any 'hysterical, interfering idiots' or indeed anyone who seems to notice or care. I don't doubt that there have been incidents of people being harassed, but luckily the typical British approach of "don't make a fuss, ever" seems to be winning out for the most part.
Another thing I find comforting is that most of the large supermarket chains (including Tescos) have said they won't enforce this stupid law, and so have the police for the most part. I strongly suspect that many of the smaller shops won't either - they don't want to lose the custom, and they definitely don't want to face bad publicity and/or a disability discrimination lawsuit for pestering customers with medical issues. Here's a few suggestions which have helped me feel more comfortable on the Tube:
- Try to keep a distance from people wearing a mask, to give them less of an excuse to confront you. It's also the polite thing to do - I may find the whole thing ridiculous, but I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable, and some of them may have health conditions which put them genuinely more at risk. - If you're taking any medication, carry that with you just in case any shop staff etc. try to speak to you about it. You could also carry a lanyard etc. as you suggested. - If you just don't feel up to even the possibility of a confrontation, try wearing a gauze scarf or piece of netting over your mouth and nose. This technically satisfies the 'face covering' requirement while still allowing you to breathe (at least it does for me).
- This may sound odd, but I find it slightly comforting to remember that many other countries have introduced similar laws - at least this shows it's not just our government that's gone completely mad. :P
I'm with you on the 'no one else understanding' part - be assured that some of us do, and are just as furious and upset as you are. I hope this post is helpful to you.
Sorry to hear about your Anxiety, my mental health was also really exacerbated by the initial lock down, especially being isolated as I live alone and couldn't see friends or family for nearly 3 months. Luckily I'm an 'essential worker' so at least I had my colleagues and patients as human interaction (this is why I'm anonymous btw, being NHS staff makes me worried about losing my job if I'm found to disagree with big brother- I know how silly that sounds, just my Anxiety again). Also lucky I work in mental health not physical so the PPE rules are very relaxed, I wouldn't cope in an actual hospital with all the masks etc. But totally with you on how damaging lock down is for mental health.
Things is recently things had got so much better and I was genuinely happy until this was announced last week.
Hopefully it won't be enforced- the police have many better things to do as they have said themselves. More worried about the public but it's really comforting to hear about the tube and being left alone- there may be considerate humans around after all.
I also don't want to upset those who are genuinely concerned for their own or families' health (as silly as I personally think it is when the mortality rate is 0.6) so I do generally keep my distance where possible.
My friend has offered to let me carry some of her old inhalers so I don't have to explain the real reason to strangers so I might do that plus the lanyards and the visor. I just can't tolerate anything over my airways unless I have complete control over it, I did try scarves but it was still too much- pretty much everything I've tried is except the visor.
Sorry about the language used to describe those who confront people- I'm just still really angry.
Thanks for your support and advice :)
There you go, use any combination of these
Thanks, may avoid the allergic to stupidity one though- don't have the patience to be dealing with 'Karens' 😋
One more suggestion: if you see other people without masks, try to hover near to them. Safety in numbers, right? ;)
Haha, yes I doubt most people would confront a group :P
I have a health condition and just had a bullying experience with a staff member tying to get me to santize my hands. I had to say no 4 times (they have my medical details on file) before she deigned to let me in. In one week with varying appointments I've had my temperature taken 5 times. These people are nuts!
Wow that's a bit excessive 😂, it's a mild respiratory virus for the overwhelming majority of people (obviously a very small percentage are actually vulnerable and I do feel for them) it's not meningitis or rabies! I don't personally mind having my temperature taken or using the sanitiser if it keeps people happy and off my back but they really need to be less pushy with it as you never know what someone's past experiences or reasons are for not wanting to sanitise or wear a mask etc. I'm so sick of basically being called a murderer, just for not wanting to feel suffocated, by people who know nothing of my past and couldn't even imagine it. This whole world seems to have gone mad. I'm strongly considering moving to Sweden at this point 😂
I do have the patience to deal with 'karens' whoever they are. My point is from stupid shops like Asda asking for medical certificates to prove you are exempt, to wanna be nurses deciding to take temperatures and hand sanitizer you to death, I've had enough of this b.s. I hope the shops end up coming together to legally challenge this decision, or round these parts, they'll go bust. We're used to far more freedom from meddling in Brighton.
'Karens' are the 'I want to speak to the manager' folk always making fuss and throwing a strop over nothing in public, just generally interfering and telling everyone else what to do. It's kinda been made into an online trend and memes so I find myself using the term a lot 😆
Agreed. My friends who work in retail are shitting themselves right now, it must be awful for them, they're just not paid enough for this crap. I think most the shops have said they will only 'encourage' rather than enforce and that the police will have to enforce but then the police have already said that they won't enforce it either because there's plenty of real crimes which they need to be dealing with. So, maybe I'm worrying over nothing after all.
Slight problem with asking for medical certificates when the doctors won't even issue them- they just keep telling everyone to 'self-certify', it's almost like they want us all (with mask difficulties due to physical or mental health) to starve. I have thankfully found a slot for online shopping coming tomorrow now, thank god. Still need to collect my prescriptions though and the pharmacy (I called them today) just say, oh it's fine there's lots of people that won't be wearing them, just come in without no one will bother you.... Nice of them but I do think there's always going to be some belligerent overgrown child sticking their snout in when they see people like us not wearing masks 🙄
Alexandra BQT - absolutely agree with you about the 'wanna be nurses' - I find it very disturbing on many levels. What temperature do they consider 'normal' - or rather what temperature have they been told is 'normal'? There are a plethora of reasons why a person's temperature may be a bit high. For starters there is pregnancy, menstruation and the menopause - these are normal bodily fluctuations. I checked this to be sure, having heard ( I forget where) that women may 'feel hotter than usual but their temperature is not' - well, that's not the case. Depending on your core temperature hormonal fluctuations can push it 'into the red' so to speak. Obviously this isn't going to mean you have 'the rona'.
My general advice ( regarding the scariness of shopping and public transport) is to try and maintain confidence with maybe an edge of authority - you'd be surprised how a certain attitude can work wonders - these people are 'following orders', tis true - but that makes it easier to turn the tables on them. Show your exemption badge/lanyard/whatever as you would an officials badge with a certain facial expression ( a look of authority combined with a 'now see that badge' gesture). You can keep it civil, say 'morning' / 'afternoon' have a polite smile, but act as if you expect them to comply. Fight fire with fire!
Absolutely- they say average temp is 37 but mine's always more like 36.2-36.4. If mine's 37 then it is elevated but that wouldn't be picked up and other people will be the opposite and 38 wouldn't be particularly high for them. Little off topic but same with blood pressure- mine's usually like 90/55 and I always get treated as though I must be ill- they take it several times when I'm at the doctors and get confused- but that's just normal for me. There's so much individual variation involved.
Plus if it's asymptomatic (like the overwhelming majority of infected people are) then temperature checks are redundant anyway 🤔
Those who are genuinely vulnerable because they're already ill in other ways aside, if you can carry it for 2 weeks without ever knowing you've had it, then can it really be such a 'killer'? It's not like you carry things like Polio or Smallpox without any ill effects is it? (Like I said, do feel for the genuinely vulnerable but they ARE a minority and would pretty much be vulnerable to any illness- this is is not unique at all, it works in the same way as many, many other viruses e.g. flu, norovirus, colds etc. which all really harm the sick and elderly but barely touch the young and healthy, who can overcome them very fast or have no symptoms at all, this hysteria is so out of proportion it makes my brain ache 🙄)
Unfortunately I'm just so unintmidating- 5'2'', small frame, look like a teenager and really soft spoken so people do tend to think they can walk all over me but I'll do my best to keep my head high- really hoping the hidden disabilities lanyard will protect me but primarily I'm just going to avoid the shops I think. It's just so unfair because there's a lot of people who struggle with face coverings for so many reasons and there's no protection for any of them from abuse 😪
I know it can be really tough - I have days where I can't do it or I get in a queue and by the time I reach the entrance I have succumbed to the general misery around me, lose confidence and feel as if I'm in a concentration camp. Different occasions/ circumstances call for different strategies - find what you are comfortable with. I'm somewhat small myself, look younger than I am and not as 'matronly' as may be useful in these situations but I can maintain a certain 'don't mess with me' look - ha! years of practice! Don't be too hard on yourself - we are all reacting to this shit as the individuals we are - unlike the sheep. Practice in the mirror? Go and stock up today so when you do go in a shop it won't be at the beginning - which I am now going to call 'Freaky Friday' - things may have leveled out a bit by the beginning of next week? Take care and good luck!
p.s. crazy that travelling a few stops on the train now feels like something out of 'The Great Escape' and food shopping well, - who needs to go on a tour of Auschwitz these days?
Thanks :) managed to get a delivery slot with Asda afterall and it arrived today. Most people I've spoken to now, seem to think it won't get enforced as there's not enough police and the shop staff have no authority anyway. I think I'll just wait for the hysteria to wear off a bit (maybe a week or two) and soon the football or something else will be the hot topic of conversation everywhere and not masks- just so sick of hearing the virtue signallers harp on about how great they are and how evil everyone who doesn't wear one is 😣. Am actually back off sick from work now, has been a really stressful week but they've been understanding at least so far. Maybe I can send out a '**** off' vibe if I want to, there must be a reason I've always been more scared of chihuahuas than rottweilers 😂
Yup, certainly feels dystopian right now to say the least 'face mask good, bare faced baaaaad' :L
Anonymous person, regarding shops, you may want to check out my thread in the Activism section called 'Maskstapo Threat Level Report' for some reassurance (and mild humour). I can only speak for where I live and work in London, but I visited several shops and public places and had basically no problems. What's more, no other members of the public have spoken to me, approached me or given any indication they care that I wasn't wearing a mask. I love London!
Thank you for your work in mental health, by the way. A family member had a crisis earlier on in the pandemic, and seems to have received excellent care both from the local crisis team and (briefly) in hospital. I also ended up in urgent care a couple of times with my own issues, and both times the doctors I spoke to were very understanding and sympathetic. I get the feeling they are overwhelmed with similar cases right now. :P
Well, I've just come back from my weekly shop in Morrisons. I was just waved through with a smile when I showed my lanyard and exempt badge. I was the only one in there not wearing a mask except for a couple of children . No one said anything,no dirty looks, some man stood well back from me until I passed him, I just smiled and said "thank you". But I found it to be exceptionally quiet for 10.a.m. on a Saturday morning, usually unheard of.
Great to hear :) Think it's quiet because a lot of people have been deterred by this rule, hence the lack of online delivery slots.
I just state I am exempt and carry on walking. If I can get a delivery from a supermarket I do as its just easier. This madness is getting to me, why is everyone behaving like sheep and why are they not questioning the madness, we are told one thing and then told the opposite, non of which makes sense but people just except it and don't look into the science for themselves.