My 13 year old daughter was back to school last week, at last, after being off from the start of March. For a bright, studious girl, it has been a very frustrating time. I started to consolidate all the daft new rules and diktats that she has had to adhere to over the last two weeks but she has saved me a job and written the following piece. Funny and tragic at the same time!
Upon entering the gates, one is greeted by a swathe of over precautious nonsense, that is if you don't have a muzzle upon your person, you will be greeted with a detention by a compliant teacher wearing a face rag. Dehumanising mask in hand, you will be directed to the allocated area for your year group, where you shall be named, counted and muzzle-checked in a process called "roll-call", like the criminals we are for having the audacity to receive an education.
After a questionably "brief" lecture about how these ludicrous measures are supposedly "keeping us safe" and making sure nobody dies from a disease that doesn't affect people our age in the slightest, we are made to cover our faces and are escorted to our room by a teacher. When entering and exiting every room, no matter how long we have been in there for, teachers stand over us glaring like hawks to make sure we get a large, unhealthy dollop of hand poison. The same applies every time someone coughs, sneezes accidentally, is polite enough to pick up someone's pen (the horror), or performs any other actions which may be christened "cross-contamination".
No equipment can be borrowed, for example;art supplies, glue sticks, whiteboard pens, calculators etc, making our schoolbags much heavier than they would otherwise be, and since lockers are no longer in use, we have to cart around lots of belongings. This includes drinking water considering the water fountains are off limits! When lessons finish we will either be escorted to our next class by a teacher or escorted to the car park where we have break or lunch wearing face "protectors". When lunch is upon us we do not have the luxury of having somewhere to sit, so instead we dine on the cold hard concrete unless we are willing to buy overpriced food for a seat indoors. At the end of lunch we are made to line up and muzzle up and then wait to be escorted to the next lesson of the day.
Our classrooms are always freezing because the windows and doors are always open for so-called ventilation. Another common feature of the classrooms, is the yellow tape on the floor indicating the "zone" that the teacher is not allowed to leave and we, the diseased students, are not allowed to enter. In fact most of the school and the sports changing rooms are shrouded in yellow tape, for example, the changing rooms are split into small yellow prison cubes that we have to get changed for PE in by ourselves. Excessive sanitisation is also common in PE like the hand poison we have to use and the bleaching of equipment, such as tennis balls before and after use.
A new rule has also taken effect, different coloured lanyards are to be worn to make sure that you do not mix with other year groups and stray from your "bubble". Year group bubbles are a big issue because it means if one of your year group supposedly tests "positive" your whole year group, all 300 of you, have to stay off school, missing out on fundamental education for two weeks! The same thing has happened at our school for year eleven and because of so many bedwetting parents of students from other year groups have taken their children off school leaving a partially empty building.
The pointless wearing of face coverings are more than irritating as it distorts your words, creates a sense of dehumanisation and lessens your oxygen supply which is of course not a good thing. One of my friends is forced to wear a face rag despite her father's e-mail to the school stating how the masks cause a change in breathing patterns.
Overall there have been many ludicrous new rules introduced to our school and in my opinion none of them do any good and this is the same with many schools across the Country therefore I would very much like to get to normal and stop all this nonsensical madness.